My boss gave me an audit which is a big one compared to others and he said me to handle it. I agreed as well, now to one of my colleague was a bit uncomfortable and got very insecure with it. This was not the first time that she had this feeling for I got an assignment. She didn't talk to me, I knew what the reason could be. I was normally interacting to her I neither tried to ask her as to what has happened nor tried to console for her feelings. The next day she went to the boss and said him that she want the other audit which was the next big after the one which I got. I was just observing the scene and the way she had asked it. Boss for the moment said that we'll see it later but she literally said this that I could not even imagine in my dreams that "No, Sir I know you will give all audits to her but even I want to learn!" The pitch of her voice was above the level for any boss to bear still my boss is a humble person and said, okay I want the work to be done and doesn't matter who does it. I was as usual looking at the interaction and when my boss looked at me I just gave him a smile to which I meant, it's okay with me don't worry. As of she had been to audits even more than me because last year due to severe Jaundice I missed out almost all the audits and she was the one who did them plus I had never done the audit which she had asked for. So may be she was right in guessing that probably my boss would have given it to me. But then that would be his wish isn't it? It's he who would analyse and fill in the requirements of the work. I got no problem, as such, to me all this is very little things to fight for with anybody or to be sad about. The saddest part is that she had that insecurity against me and actually snatched it. Never mind, as I said take it away as much you can, they might not give me that much pleasure as much insecurity or sadness it gives to you.
So better you get it. Probably your sadness got more value than my not feeling anything much about it. I was still normal with all that happened and then she had this apology that she wanted to do it so she had asked for it. I said it's okay if you want I can say no to the one I've got, it just doesn't matter to me more and for that matter I haven't done that as well which you had asked for so in a way even I'm losing, isn't it? But then you cannot always get what you wish. And likewise if you are talking about experience thing, then what if you would not have been here still you would not have got all this. We actually forget the big picture and live in moments rather die for them. Huh, as I said few things are out of order and it includes this as well that I'll let things come to me but will never snatch it from anybody nor can behave so. But surely she had made me realise that it's high time that I must realize this that people will first think of themselves and should not feel bad that they don't care for you and could be sad knowing you getting more that themselves. Can remember the 3 Idiots dialogue that said that, it's difficult to know that you have scored less but more difficult is to know that your friend has got a rank. As of this I never believed into it but now have to or rather I should start accepting it. Though I have always been happy when my friends managed to clear in the 1st attempt but I could not and that time they were not comfortable in talking to me or expressing their happiness of passing but then I took the efforts and talked to them congratulated them from my heart and was really happy that they could, even though I could not. Because that's everyone luck and hard work, is what I feel. Feels good that I am who I am.
Disclaimer: In no way intending to prove myself superior nor trying to prove others small but an incident to remember so that don't get hurt the next time something of such sort happen to me in this long life. Surely everyone will think of them first. Better I should stop expecting from them the feelings and emotions I have for them.
Though I'm indifferent in my behavior after all this. I'm the same ME no matter who do what!!!! :)
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