SOMETIMES BE SAD!

Agreeing and accepting as well as following positivity in life, the difficult phase comes when life is unfair to you and all your positivity seems to drain for a moment and you don't want to think even a single thing that is good but want to focus and accept clearly and truly that YES, MY LIFE IS SUCKING!
 I GUESS SOMETIMES ITS OKAY TO GIVE UP ON LONG PRECONCEIVED HOPES AND ACCEPT THE FAILURES YOU'VE GOT... SOMETIMES THE BAD MAKES FEEL GOOD WHEN THOUGHT OF... SOMETIMES JUST THINKING OF ALL THE THINGS THAT HAS SCREWED YOU REAL TIME SINCE LONG BUT YOU'VE TRIED TO IGNORE THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE POSITIVE... SOMETIMES IT FEELS BETTER TO SHED TEARS... SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIGHTER TO WET PILLOW... SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD TO CRIB ABOUT EVERYTHING.. SOMETIMES IT BECOMES IMPORTANT TO BE SAD, TO ACCEPT YOUR TRUE FEELINGS...

P.S.: Not ALWAYS, just SOMETIMES!

Lost in Transit

Sadly, 😯 I lost my two blog posts due to the error in the app of the Blogger!😠
What yaar, thought once came and imprinted cannot be retrieved back same as it is! 😧😰

Let them fall!

Few people learn only after they fall! No matter how hard you try but they shall never learn from others mistakes or guidance.
Beyond a point you can't make anyone understand what they'll end up into. Sometimes, you can only wait and watch the show, sometimes a bad show, but you have to witness it, for it's meant to be so...

I walk alone

May be this is the only best way to live. All alone...
No people, no expectations, no love, no trust, no betrayal, no breach, no sorrows, nothing, just nothing...

Broken trust

I don't know why this life is testing me beyond my tolerance level?
Coming across few truths is sometimes so worst that you realise it was better when you were unknown to them. Coz after knowing about it, each breath seems unbearable. There seems no solution to it. Over and above you can't share it with anyone is the worst feeling. Keeping things locked in your heart forever and continuing to bear it is like dying each moment silently.
When time is crucial and important, why unusual things come in existence to occupy all mind space and leave vacuum in the heart forever!?

Life would be easy alone than to have fake people in it...

Selfish PEOPLE-Selfish WORLD

When outsiders behave with you practically, never showing any concern or care about what may happen to you, you still can accept their this strange behavior and live with it!
But...
When your own people, whom you know since birth, for whom you've sacrificed and who has sacrificed for you, when all of sudden they show carefree attitude, it hurts beyond any console! :’(
And you can tell no one about this feeling...

May be it's better to learn to not expect anything from anyone in this WORLD, where everyone is SELFISH by some or other means! :-\

Give me a break!

Sometimes life seems so messed up that you yourself think that you don't know what is happening with you, around you... Everything is out of your control. Everything is driven by some outer force and you lack any type of control from your own life!
You only know that it's messed up but don't know how to undo the knots, how to sort out things and make life, what is called, SIMPLE!
Each and everything around is giving you bad feelings, negative vibes. You don't like the way things around you are. You don't like the people around you. You don't like events happening with you. You just don't like anything.
In such a situation how to take back control of everything? How to bring back life in your life?
How to become that cheerful person that once you were, whom everyone loved?
How to be the best and do best of all?
How to map again your dreams new way?
How to lead the path, though alone but with confidence?
How to forget all regrets of past and move ahead on the path of future and color the future with new, fresh and lively colors that not only brighten your life but also of others around you?
How...?

The wedding day

Today was the wedding day of Sara's sister. It was my first South Indian wedding that I attended. Everyone around me looked draped in silk and dripped in Gold! I was mesmerized by the gold everyone wore. Though in my traditions too gold get preference but not this much. I've heard about it in past but experienced today. Had attended wedding from start and saw all the rituals. It was bit common but few things were new. It was shorter with regards to ceremony of wedding, ours last for 2-3hrs at least. I loved the look of the bride. It was awesome. But brides sister was too well dressed. Finally she agreed to wear the jewellery I suggested. Sara, you really looked Cinderella! ;-)
While everyone, all friends of our group, came straightening their hairs while are bit curly, Sara took efforts to curl her straight hairs and I didn't do anything and got Sara's company for my curly ones. But next time I wanna experiment with straight ones, everyone looked awesome! All my sweet babes, you all looked gorgeous! :-)

I left before the bidai, it wasn't planned so but happened like that and I think if not always but sometimes what happens happens for good for I would surely not have controlled my emotions looking everyone get emotional at that moment.
I just hate this one fact the most. Why should girls leave everyone and everything and go forever for someone? Everyone looks so happy every since the wedding gets fixed till it is done but at the end remains the emptiness everywhere... :-(
There is no solution to this cliché!

Ups and downs of day!

Even though the start of the day was bad, yeah it was really bad and sad as well but then I dropped the stereo thoughts and moved on to other moments of the day but towards the end the day was made!

In the morning, I was walking towards my jogging track and I just placed my hands inside my pocket to protect them from cold. All of sudden I stopped noticing that my pocket felt empty while I remembered keeping a hundred rupees note in it! I turned back and one Aunty immediately asked me, noticing my puzzled look, what happened? I told her about it and decided to go back to home from same route from where I came, hoping to find it back. I walked by keeping my eyes on the road but I found nothing! Of course, so many people and school going children walk on this route and we know how people take anything from road even though that may not be belonging to them, isn't it? Irrespective of thinking that the person might come back in search of her belongings! How could we think that anything that we find on public place, just because we found it, it can belong to us? No, dude! It's not the right approach.
Never mind. I was sad initially for my irresponsible behavior. I should have been more careful. I will be in future. That's my learning from this incident. I hope the money has reached right person deserving it than me. Actually it's not about hundred rupees but about our integrity! Of course with hundred rupees neither will I go poor by losing it nor will other get rich by finding it!

The thought evaporated later with the learnings that I had to learn!

In the evening when I was chatting with my BFF, suddenly and surprisingly at one reply of mine she said happily that I've started behaving maturely!
Wow! Receiving this comment from one who would always say I'm immature and childish, is thrilling and joyous too! Though, I purposely behave childishly :-P but of course I know when to behave maturely and when can I be immature! Also, she said I should always remain the way I'm caring & understand. That's genetic actually! :-)
Not that I am any great person but I just try to make things simple around me, though at few times I do mess up things more than anything! In all I was happy that she recognized my efforts of maintaining our friendship together forever and may we remain friends forever and ever and ever.
Sometimes, we are indirectly and unknowingly attached to few person in our life beyond our imaginations. Few relations are very special and you feel it's since lifetime and not just from few years! There is an invisible knot that tie you with that person, no matter how fuzzy it gets at times but the tie never get freed but along with tough times the relations grow more stronger and you realise the importance of happy moments and that remembrance embraces the real relationship that you share!

Friends are important for life and good friends are much more important.
Cherish your friendship!

Health is wealth

I've always believed in this saying and I've always given preference to my health over anything else. I love doing workout and love morning walk. It's been a satisfactory. Starting day early in the morning is what I love the most. The winter breeze when it enters the system it gives a pleasure that one should experience to know. Looking people come otta bed early in morning from the warmth of bed into cool air is inspiring. Mind you, it's a tough job to do it but I can and I will always. As I love challenges I fight with this challenge too and hit the track for jog! It's inspiring to see old people come for walk. They come in group and laugh, talk, enjoy their walk. Do stretching after the walk and on their way take fresh grocery for home. You should be young at heart. I love health conscious people for I'm one.
But dogs are hurdles sometimes. Early morning I don't know why they come up in centre of the road and fight, bark on bikers, bark especially on people collecting wastes from garbage for recycle, and, if you happen to pass by near them they will bark on you too! This is terrible. Yesterday itself a herd of dogs literally barred me somehow I managed to escape before they have bite of me! But dogs can't stop my passion. I need to learn how to get rid of dogs. I really don't like this animal! :-\
Stupids!

Huh, never mind I'm happy more for following my passion passionately! :-D

Waasup?

Oh please!
I just don't know answer to this one question which is repeatedly asked by anyone I meet, talk or chat to!
Aur what's up?
Nothing is up!
Normal just like that, I have to say.
This question is really irritating me real time!
I don't know what to say coz I really don't know what is up with me these days. I'm at home post exams I don't have studies and due to unemployment I don't have any work too. I just do some time pass on computer and sleep and watch TV and sleep and read books and sleep and eat something and sleep that's it! :-P
What's there to tell about it!?
I'm at COMPLETE AARAM (Coz I'm doing CA!)
Phew! Hope now you got it wassup with me! :-\

Absentmindedness

My oxford dictionary says it's, preoccupation so great that the ordinary demands on attention are ignored...

Hmmm...
That's why when I'm preoccupied with any thought the ordinary demand of attention that my book demands and if I couldn't give then despite my eyes have read an answer for 10th time still my brain fails to register it and there remains no difference whether I read it or not...

Peace of mind and focus is key component to understand and keep things inside our brain...
No, actually to keep things reach the brain...

That thin line between discipline and freedom...

Yesterday, my neighbor, a 7yr old boy, Sonu, suddenly went missing. He went to play in the garden after his school at 6.30pm. His mother called him out, from their gallery from where the garden is clearly visible, at 7.30pm, when Aunty noticed that it was dark outside and almost no one was there. His elder sis went down to bring him back when she didn't found any response from him after the calls.
After few minutes there was knock on the door, Aunty and the girl both looked worried and said that they were unable to find Sonu in the society. We all were shocked and worried at the same time. Looking at current environment, all sort of different worrisome thoughts were creeping in everyone's mind. Soon my brothers went to search him and knocked at all the doors of the three wings but the answer was NO. I stayed back at home thinking if he would return I shall be there to notice him. Hours passed but we didn't find him at anywhere in garden nor at anyone's place, where mostly he goes sometimes to play with his friends.
I remembered last time just few days before I scolded him for roaming around here and there at night time. But those words seemed to have fell on his dead ears I guess!
Thinking about what would have happened to Sonu, the heart was sinking into emotions as well as my sick body and mind was unable to bear that emotional trauma and anger was creeping up as high as possible!
Ever since he had born, since his day 1 on this earth I've seen him and his absence like this was unbearable but I had to control my own emotions looking at his mother, who was already in about-to-cry situation. I've always kept my control over him looking at the leniency of his parents. They've always given me equal rights too to say him whatever is needed to keep him disciplined. He feared no one at all except me, that doesn't mean I didn't love him. But I always consider, kids should have fear of someone that would prevent them from doing any wrong.

Scenes of past flashed in front of my eyes when I myself told his mother to allow him to play outdoor coz that's the age when he can enjoy and sitting at home and watching TV would not give him any advantage and make him dull, a physical activity leads to an active brain and physique. But this incidence happening in such a way, I felt like I'm responsible for everything, though no one pointed out finger on me!
I quickly ran to my door, that was not locked but slightly got closed due to wind, when I heard foot steps of someone. It was him... Just having a look on my face he understood what he'll have to face now. His sis found him at place of someone new in the society, whom none of us yet know! He was watching TV there and was playing with a kid of his age. Neither he informed anyone at home nor came otta house when everyone was calling out his name in the society surrounding. He always give deaf ears to such calls, I've always noticed this. I dragged him near me and wanted to give a tight slap but somehow controlled. Taking both his wrists in my hands, I held them tightly, I started shouting at him at a voice which indicated the seriousness of the issue. I tried to make him understand how serious the matter had went and how much everyone was worried about him. We even called up his dad and informed to come home fast, uncle was on his way. Later we informed him that his son was safe. Slowly everyone returned back home after informing others in the society that we've found our child safely, as everyone was worried and concerned about the issue. I continued scolding even after everyone was there. Mom tried to stop me but I couldn't, as if words were directly coming otta my mouth. His eyes were down and I warned him if he would cry then it'll be more bad for him. Finally I could stop but I punished him and made his kneel down... Without a word he obeyed. I announced that from today he is banned from watching TV and playing outside, also not allowed to cross the door line of my home! Our house has always been special for him, he is allowed to come and play at even 11pm, eat anything he likes, do anything he want, study, play, dance, anything... But now he is banned for those everything...

This must teach him lesson that he is yet a kid and is responsible to answer his elders all his actions and may this punishment bring seriousness in him...

In all this there was fault of family too, they either don't allow him to go out or if allowed don't notice what their kid is doing!
Freedom should be given but not in lieu of discipline!

Black spot...

While typing post suddenly I noticed a black spot in the form of F1 vertically written on right corner of my android...
Closely noticing the same I concluded that somehow my screen has got cracked!
OMG! :’(
I can't remember when this happened...
May be last time when it dropped down from the bed... But it didn't when last so many times it had slipped from my hands or fell down from the chair or from heights more than that... Then how come this time? :O
But, touch wood, it's still alive and in equally working condition! :-|
But it's disturbing, that F1... o_O

Dandiya-Raas = Raas-leela

Listening to radio came across a show. The RJ was saying something that shocked me somehow! "Dear friends today we're going to show you real picture of few people and what they do during Dandiya nights. We are today associated with one of the detective along with whom we're going to go on an investigation. First lets have talk with the detective."
The detective,"During Navratri our business is at boom always! Ha ha ha... ...today I've a case in hand where the husband is otta town for some official work but he is doubtful about his wife and want me to follow her and investigate into what she do, where she goes, whom she meets, etc, etc..."
RJ,"Friends today we're going to accompany Mr. Detective on his mission to give you true picture of everything live! Are you ready to face reality?! Ha ha ha... C'mon lets go..."
They followed the car in which the lady whom the husband suspects is driving. She first goes to parlor, get ready... They investigate but there were only females in the parlor. No suspect till now. Later she returns home... They investigate but there was no one else then the wife herself... She gets ready and move otta house... In the car she's alone... They followed her... She enters a parking lot near the Dandiya show. They wait for her to come... waits... waits more... Finally decide to head themselves into the parking... There was someone in the car this time... They knock on the glass... A male voice turns up asking, who the hell it is????!!!!

It's a true story!
In fact last year too I heard in news about Dandiya was, the correspondent was asking a doctor about her experience and her answer was, the cases of abortions during Navratri are more than 70% than during the year we would notice!

I was shocked then... I was shocked today... But I'm sure I'll be not shocked in future... Because I now know the reality...

I've many times posted about mens' misbehavior but this one coming up coz I'm not biased to any sex being a woman but to know the true picture of everyone around. I never assumed nor believed any one race to be bad and another innocent...
They all are same...
If not all men are devil then not all women are devi too!

Harsh reality...

Superstitions

Huh!
You too might have heard about so many of superstitious things and might have yourself followed them too or would be following them too for that matter!
Similarly in my caste/community/creed/custom/tradition whatever name called there are so many superstitious things.
For instance, one should not travel to native on Wednesday!
Not to wash hairs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Haan one more, girl having brother should not wash hairs on Sundays too!
Not to cut nails and do shaving too on those Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays...
Blah Blah Blah... There are many more such weird things...

Who cares!
All this seems utter nonsense to me. I don't believe into them ever.
Whenever I'm said about it I asked simple question to them, WHY? To which no one had any answer. This is shocking!
You all are following something blindly coz old people would say so! How is that possible?
Today is Navratri and in that too it is not to cut nails, not to shave, not to sleep on bed during day time, not to stitch clothes, etc...
How weird all these things are I always wonder. Whenever I'm asked to follow them I always told my family that I want logical reason and if you can give me that I'll surely follow it or else I'll not. Never!

Today I wanted to cut nails and I did too.

I think everyday made by God is good and lucky. How is it that on some Gods particular day we're not supposed to do something. All these are mere matters of maintaining personal cleanliness. What has it got to do with any day?!

But thankfully my parents know it's of no use in making me understand their superstitious things hence now neither I interfere in their superstitious matters and protest against it and ask them to follow my logical ways nor they say me to follow their ideologies.

We follow our beliefs.
Actually speaking that's what it is, our belief, which plays with us!
Who believe into it it'll happen same way with him who doesn't nothing could happen to him!

I don't think there could be any scientific reason into it, ever!

Insanity

Yesterday while having interaction with one of the clients my brother came across something insane, no, in fact it's beyond insanity I would say.
The MAN had FOUR daughters from his FIRST wife, yeah, first coz then he married his wife's sister with his SECOND wife he had TWO more daughters!
So he have TWO wives and SIX daughters!
What would you say now MAN? I wished I could ask him! :-\
Hence proved it's fault of your sperms and not of your wives!
:-|
Men forgets that they too are responsible while having a child!
But they always and only know how and when to blame women!

PS: What kind of self respect does those TWO ladies and SIX daughters have?
Especially, first wife? That her husband needed a SON manufacturing machine and not a wife as a life partner!
Second lady, how could she marry such an insane man. Even after knowing about the narrow mindedness of her sisters husband she jumped into the same well wilfully where her sister by mistake went!
What guarantees that he'll not marry third time?

Those six girls, what does their life means? A mistake! That their father wanted a SON and in that hope that they're son they came into this life but they're now girl hence dejected!
Wow!
Wonderful!
Keep it up Man...

Mera Bhoot!

I dialed the landline no of Sara. Phone rang.
Tring tring...
Tring tring...
The phone was answered in a female voice, "Hello?!"
Me: "Sara?!"
Female voice:"Who's this?"
Me: "Sara!" (Now sure that it's her! )
Female voice: Who? Nilima?!
Me: (In playful mood, very confidently) Nahi, uska BHOOT!
Female Voice: What?!
Me: (now in more playful mood and more confidently and clearly!) Nilima ka BHOOT...
Female Voice: "Okay! BHOOTJI I'm Sara's Mother, wait a minute I'll give her the phone"

Me: (I was dead and actually about to become BHOOT! o_O)
Aauuunnnntttttyyyyyy!!!!!!
Ssaaarrrraaaaa?
(Aunty was calling Sara and by the time I could think of next word the culprit came to receiver finally!)
Sara: "Hello, what did you say? Mom ROFL?! :-D"
Me: (Speechless and embarrassed!
X-(  :-@ )

Still don't have guts of facing Aunty! :-|

India is independent but not Indian Women...

Don't go here! Don't go there! Don't do this! Don't do that! Don't wear this! Don't wear that! Don't say like this! Don't say like that! Don't... Don't... Don't...
Why but?
Because there can be someone who can molest you if you'll be found alone at a place where not many people would be there.
Because if you wear clothes that exposes your any body part that could invite to a serious threat to your life.
Because if you say anything back to a teaser you never know next time he may harm you beyond avoidable way.
But why should I be controlled?
Why can't people with bad thoughts and intentions try to clear their mind set rather than I be told what to do and what not?

Because you're a woman, you have to be under control of men around you, always. Previously it was at home, only, that woman had man controlling them now it's everywhere...

Is this the way we're supposed to live our lives?

What if same way they get harassed? What if in same way they feel insecure about their safety and life at every walk of life? What if they were said what to do and what not to do by others and they would be supposed to listen to them?

Could anything ever change? I doubt it...
How can you change the mentality of people around you? How can you tell them that how insecure this feeling is? How can you tell people that we too are humans and need human treatment and respect.

For name sake we live in an Independent country but in reality we're still slaves of Men...

Lost humanity

Switch on any news channel at anytime of any day there is one news fixed, pick up any newspaper daily on front page one headline is fixed- RAPE!

What kind of a place I'm living in I wonder? Is this the kind of life I'm looking for being a woman? This life where I don't know where I'll be teased, accused, molested, sexually harassed, rapped, by any person, no now a days it's group of persons, life where I'm not safe anywhere, nowhere! At office there are men, at streets there are men, in train, bus, auto rickshaw, at shops, bridges, lanes, on internet and at home too there are men and there are these devils too amongst them.
Is this the life that I'm looking for that at the end of the day before sleeping I have a sigh of relief that I'm safe and alive today but I don't know what my tomorrow will be?!
Being parent how can a mother even think of protecting their little angels from the devils present at every walk of life?
If not before but now definitely being a girl is a curse because we've such devils on this earth all around. But I guess I would still prefer being a girl than being a devil!
I don't know if our law can protect a woman or not but I guess we should definitely take incharge of our safety in our hands. We need strong self defence training to strengthen ourselves and show who is strong!
If there exists caring Goddess Parvati who is sweet and nurturing then one should not forget that when the devils try to do their evil acts the same Goddess knows how to become Durga and save her right and self respect!

And for devils, if not anyone can punish you on this earth but I still hope God does exist to give you result of your deeds!