Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.

Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting them to agree with you.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.

You have to dare to be yourself, and follow your own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.
True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.

Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.” It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy. When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU.

3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.
You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore them, and carry on.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself. And as you’re fighting back, not everyone will like you. Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different.” But that’s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.

4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.
Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.

Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you want them to be. We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. Every human being is remarkable and beautiful; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it. The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are.

5. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.
People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.

6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change.
If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them. It might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what really changes is the way you see them.

7. Stop expecting them to be “OK.”
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.

Remember that embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark. We are measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not avoid them. Supporting, sharing and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very similar dreams, needs and struggles. Once we accept this, the world then is a place where we can look someone else in the eye and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too,” and that’s OK. Because not being “OK” all the time, is perfectly OK.

Afterthoughts People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to. Hope for the best, but expect less. And remember, the magnitude of your happiness will be directly proportional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things. Even if a situation or relationship doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.

Source: Facebook link

26 and SINGLE!!!!! o_O

Your parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. Shouldn’t that be a wonderful occasion to get together and have a wonderful time? Family, friends, celebrations and so on. Unfortunately, when you’re the 26-year-old single daughter who has moved to the city to have one of those fancy careers (being at the beck and call of the associates of a law firm, not so fancy, really, but it’ll be worth it in five years), going home for a family gathering gives you nightmares.

The nightmares, quite literally, start about a week before your flight is scheduled. Till then, there’s the uneasy feeling as you duck your aunts’ calls and make excuses that range from the plausible to the outrageous when your mum calls and asks why you’ve been ducking the calls. As the day of doom approaches, though, you start waking up in cold sweat having dreamt of a gaggle of aunts closing in on you intoning ‘You must get married, you must have babies, marry, marry, BABIES!’ by which time you mercifully open your eyes. You start hoping for airline strikes. You start hoping that your leave will get cancelled – what a difference from the last trip with friends to Goa, when you had fingers crossed that nothing would go wrong!

Unfortunately, there is no escape from your fate, and there’s no escape from family gatherings unless you want to deeply hurt your parents. It’s not their fault that their sisters, sisters-in-law and cousins have babies – not their own, but your hypothetical babies – on their brains, is it? So the day of the flight home dawns, and you wish you could gird your loins much as gladiators did by the time you land.

The first few minutes are wonderful. Your parents have nagged your brother-in-law into picking you up. Once you get home, you’ve got your adorable two-year-old niece all over you, and you get to be the best aunt of the year by giving her a few choice gifts, a couple not to be shown to her parents until she was done with them – sugar high, yes! As you hug her, you vow to yourself that you will be a better, less scary aunt to her than any of… Oh dear. There comes the gaggle. Loin-girding time.

“Beta, you’re home! How long it has been!”

“How is your job going? That’s a nice dress you’re wearing, but it’s a bit short, did you run out of material?” Strike one.

“I guess you’re going to be all high-power lawyer and everything, eh? God help your husband if you argue like that at home as well!” Strike two.

“You look so thin, you know, you should put on some weight, you will look nicer in that saree once you do. Then we’ll find a nice boy for you.” Strike three and you clench your fist… Aunt number three will never know how lucky she is that your sister came and pulled you into a hug before your fist made resounding contact with her face.

So now to give your sister her belated birthday gift – a bottle of her favourite vodka, snagged from duty free the last time a friend went abroad. Still annoyed, you don’t think of sneaking off into your room before you give it to her. In a gesture of rather pointless defiance that will inevitably give them enough to gossip about for a week, you pull it out from your bag right in front of them. Cue collective gasp.

“I found a really nice duty-free store where I picked up this, a couple of bottles of nice wine and a really nice Jack Daniels for myself, you know I love a good whiskey,” you lie shamelessly. Cue second gasp, this one actually loud enough to bring your mum from the kitchen. She shakes her head sternly, as she always does when she knows you’re about to blow your top and let it rip at one of your aunts, but she welcomes you home with a hearty hug and sends you off to the living room where all the men are enjoying their pre-dinner Cognac.

It was only three in the afternoon, so perhaps it should be called pre-pre-dinner Cognac. Being the youngest girl in the family has its good points – everybody over 35 might be on your case to start acting like a ‘proper woman’, but you’ll always be daddy’s little girl. You’re always assured a wonderful welcome from him, so you go and grab him in a giant bear hug before he can even get up. The affection is returned with great enthusiasm. You give him your gift, too – brandy glasses and a set of whiskey stones. Of course you have to open it then and there, and then of course you have to inaugurate them. Oh boy – uncomfortable looks from all the uncles. But thankfully, your dad is fairly oblivious to them as you pour yourself one and make yourself comfortable beside your dad, all ready to join in the conversation about international politics. The uncles are beginning to shift in their seats resignedly.

Half an hour later, your mum comes into the living room as you’re holding forth about your particularly strong opinions about imperialism, capitalism and the US being the real terrorists of the world, what with invading countries for their resources and attacking people with drones. Your mum listens, then sits by your side and squeezes your hand. You look up to see that it’s not the ‘don’t argue’ look. It’s the ‘proud of you, baby’ look. Later, after dinner, as you help your mum wash up, she tells you that she’s proud of you for confounding expectations. You smile – the aunts and uncles and the rest of the world would just have to deal with your choices. They didn’t have a choice about that.

Source: http://www.theindianrepublic.com/tbp/26-and-single-100027576.html

Vote for-One stop rape centre

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मनुष्य की क्या कीमत है ?

मनुष्य की कीमत !
लोहे की दुकान में अपने पिता के साथ काम कर
रहे एक बालक ने अचानक ही अपने पिता से
पुछा – “पिताजी इस दुनिया में मनुष्य
की क्या कीमत होती है ?”
पिताजी एक छोटे से बच्चे से ऐसा गंभीर सवाल
सुन कर हैरान रह गये.
फिर वे बोले “बेटे एक मनुष्य की कीमत
आंकना बहुत मुश्किल है, वो तो अनमोल है.”
बालक – क्या सभी उतना ही कीमती और
महत्त्वपूर्ण हैं ?
पिताजी – हाँ बेटे.
बालक कुछ समझा नही उसने फिर सवाल
किया – तो फिर इस दुनिया मे कोई गरीब
तो कोई अमीर क्यो है?
किसी की कम रिस्पेक्ट
तो कीसी की ज्यादा क्यो होती है?
सवाल सुनकर पिताजी कुछ देर तक शांत रहे और
फिर बालक से स्टोर रूम में पड़ा एक लोहे
का रॉड लाने को कहा.
रॉड लाते ही पिताजी ने पुछा –
इसकी क्या कीमत होगी?
बालक – 200 रूपये.
पिताजी – अगर मै इसके बहुत से छोटे-छटे कील
बना दू तो इसकी क्या कीमत हो जायेगी ?
बालक कुछ देर सोच कर बोला – तब तो ये और
महंगा बिकेगा लगभग 1000 रूपये का .
पिताजी – अगर मै इस लोहे से घड़ी के बहुत
सारे स्प्रिंग बना दूँ तो?
बालक कुछ देर गणना करता रहा और फिर एकदम
से उत्साहित होकर बोला ” तब
तो इसकी कीमत बहुत ज्यादा हो जायेगी.”
फिर पिताजी उसे समझाते हुए बोले – “ठीक
इसी तरह मनुष्य की कीमत इसमे नही है
की अभी वो क्या है, बल्की इसमे है कि वो अपने
आप को क्या बना सकता है.”
बालक अपने पिता की बात समझ चुका था .
Friends अक्सर हम अपनी सही कीमत आंकने मे
गलती कर देते है. हम अपनी present
status को देख कर अपने आप को valueless
समझने लगते है. लेकिन हममें हमेशा अथाह
शक्ति होती है. हमारा जीवन
हमेशा सम्भावनाओ से भरा होता है.
हमारी जीवन मे कई बार
स्थितियाँ अच्छी नही होती है पर इससे
हमारी Value कम नही होती है. मनुष्य के रूप
में हमारा जन्म इस दुनिया मे हुआ है
इसका मतलब है हम बहुत special और
important हैं . हमें हमेशा अपने आप
को improve करते रहना चाहिये और
अपनी सही कीमत प्राप्त करने की दिशा में
बढ़ते रहना चाहिये...

Received this as message, liked the thought! :-)

Stickers

Received these three stickers from a friend found them worth sharing with my reader friends.

Enjoy! :-)

Déjà vu

What is déjà vu?

The term déjà vu is French and means, literally, "already seen." Those who have experienced the feeling describe it as an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all. Say, for example, you are traveling to England for the first time. You are touring a cathedral, and suddenly it seems as if you have been in that very spot before. Or maybe you are having dinner with a group of friends, discussing some current political topic, and you have the feeling that you've already experienced this very thing -- same friends, same dinner, same topic.

The phenomenon is rather complex, and there are many different theories as to why déjà vu happens. Swiss scholar Arthur Funkhouser suggests that there are several "déjà experiences" and asserts that in order to better study the phenomenon, the nuances between the experiences need to be noted. In the examples mentioned above, Funkhouser would describe the first incidence as déjà visite ("already visited") and the second as déjà vecu ("already experienced or lived through").
As much as 70 percent of the population reports having experienced some form of déjà vu. A higher number of incidents occurs in people 15 to 25 years old than in any other age group.
Déjà vu has been firmly associated with temporal-lobe epilepsy. Reportedly, déjà vu can occur just prior to a temporal-lobe seizure. People suffering a seizure of this kind can experience déjà vu during the actual seizure activity or in the moments between convulsions.
Since déjà vu occurs in individuals with and without a medical condition, there is much speculation as to how and why this phenomenon happens. Several psychoanalysts attribute déjà vu to simple fantasy or wish fulfillment, while some psychiatrists ascribe it to a mismatching in the brain that causes the brain to mistake the present for the past. Many parapsychologists believe it is related to a past-life experience. Obviously, there is more investigation to be done.

Apart from the personal experience of déjà vu in my personal life that I'm able to find about this particular concept on net, I just loved it's name, déjà vu! :-)
I always wanted to learn French before but now this word had made me fall more for this language, FRENCH! :-)

Source

11th Oct, International day of girl child!

Merely observing Day of the Girl Child isn’t enough!
She deserves to live on a planet where she is treated like a full-fledged human being — not as a plaything...

I am generally not a big fan of United Nations publicity campaigns. Just take the UN’s habit of setting aside particular “international observance days” as a way of highlighting various worthy causes. What, for example, are we supposed to make of gimmicks like World Poetry Day or the International Day of Happiness?

One of the problems with such campaigns is that they tend to preach a kind of ecumenical optimism that hovers high above the complexity of real-world politics. Who could possibly oppose poetry or happiness? Even Syrian President Bashar Al Assad would proclaim himself fully in favour. So what is the point, then?
Cynical though I am, I have to confess that one of those days has started me thinking. October 11 marks the UN’s International Day of the Girl Child. Forget the awkwardly tautological title: The event itself offers an occasion to consider some of the specific problems faced by girls around the world. That seems like a potentially constructive provocation — perhaps because I cannot help thinking about my own nine-year-old daughter and the challenges she is likely to face precisely because she is a girl.
She was lucky enough, of course, to be born in one of the world’s wealthiest and most stable societies, which makes it less likely that she will have to confront some of the uglier injustices that plague girls in other parts of the world. But of course, not even the US is immune to threats of sexualised violence or economic discrimination. So let us simplify matters. Let us just assume that my daughter is a global citizen — along with the world’s other 900 million girls aged 15 or under. What kind of life does she have a right to expect?

First and foremost, she deserves to live in a free society where her individual human rights are respected, regardless of gender. Political systems aren’t necessarily the best guide to this. It is great that Rwanda has equal numbers of men and women in parliament, for example, but I wonder if that really means much in a country where the president has the final say in everything. There are plenty of benign despots in the world who claim to promote women’s rights by pledging equal opportunity, but I wonder how far such pledges can be taken seriously when those women can be thrown into jail at a moment’s notice for making critical remarks about their leaders.

Democracy is certainly preferable to any other form of government — though not even the existence of democratic institutions automatically guarantees proper respect for the rights of girls. Just look at India, where village girls are routinely pulled out of school, whether they like it or not, and forced to become child brides at appallingly young ages. One Indian activist recently made an observation that certainly holds true for too many other parts of the world: “Girls are considered second-class citizens. They carry your bag to school for you. They get your dinner. The sexist attitude is ingrained in the way one is brought up here. When I had my second child, and she happened to be a girl, my in-laws, who are very well-educated people, were not very happy about it.”

But at least Indians can openly discuss the shortcomings of traditional ways, which facilitates evolution and change. I’m not sure we can say the same about, say, Saudi Arabia.

And while we are on the subject of girl brides: No, I don’t want to see my daughter married off in early adolescence to someone who has essentially offered me the highest price. I want her to be able to choose her own spouse and I want her — and no one else — to choose the moment when the time is right for that.

Needless to say, long-accepted traditions in many countries weigh heavily against doing away with child marriage. The UN is to be applauded for drawing attention to the broader social ills caused by the practice. (To name but one, marrying off girls at early ages almost always means that their educations are cut short.) Last year, UN agencies used the International Day of the Girl Child to stage a global campaign focusing on the need to do away with child marriage. I would like to see them do more.

What else? Well, my daughter deserves to have the same educational opportunities as her male counterparts. Girls should not be shunted off into vocational training aimed at turning them into better housekeepers. They should have access to all the subjects that boys are allowed to study — including math and science, all too often viewed as “inappropriate” subjects for girls. If my daughter finds that she has a knack for engineering, why not?
Sadly, there are many societies that still hew to the notion that science, technology, and mathematics (STEM) are the natural province of men.
Educational systems built on such preconceptions will tend to push female students in corresponding directions. (In China, for example, women account for only about a third of the workforce in STEM-related professions.)
Speaking of school: My daughter deserves the chance to participate in sports as she sees fit. There’s nothing in the Bible, the Quran or Buddhist scripture that should prohibit her from playing football, baseball or chess. (And yet this is still a matter of considerable controversy in some countries. I hope that the growing prominence of women athletes is starting to wear down some of those pathetic prejudices.)
Next: There should be no coercive exploitation of my daughter’s labour. There is no justification for slavery in the modern world. Yet this, too, is still far from a given. All too often, girls are regarded as chattel, property that can be bought or sold. This is unacceptable. Human beings, and especially children, cannot be owned. Unfortunately, it is often girls who have the least power to resist such pressures, both from inside and outside their families. It is only right to push for greater protections wherever possible.

Now, I realise that it is customary in some places for children to support their families with their own work, sometimes from very early ages. This is especially true in agrarian societies, where having more children is sometimes a strategy for ensuring a bigger labour force and thus greater prosperity for the family as a whole. So making things better for children, and especially girls, will require a wholesale change in economic conditions — not the kind of thing that happens overnight. Yet, it’s important to keep the right goal in view: Wherever possible, children should be learning, not working.

And then there is the most uncomfortable topic of all: Rape. Girls everywhere deserve to be protected from sexualised violence in all its forms. You would think this would go without saying. But recent events show us that there are still too many men in the world who think that coercing women into sex is perfectly fine. The notorious Delhi gang rape case has helped dramatise the dimensions of the problem. (Personally, I think I have been just as shocked by what that scandal tells us about attitudes towards rape within the Indian elite as by the crime itself.)

The UN is also to be applauded for taking on this topic. The organisation recently conducted a study (the results of which were published in the British medical journal The Lancet) that found that one-quarter of 10,000 men interviewed in six Asia-Pacific countries had forced women to have sex with them. Worse, half of the men who confessed to having committed rape had done so as adolescents — strongly suggesting that this is a horror that affects girls as much as it does women.

This is not the kind of world I want my daughter to grow up in. She deserves to live on a planet where people treat her and other girls like her as full-fledged human beings, not as playthings or economic assets. Honouring their promise and potential will often require huge changes in established institutions and traditional ways of doing things.
I am glad that the UN has the gumption to take on this controversial subject by drawing attention to the problems specifically facing girls. I know it will be hard to change, but we have to try. Anything else is a betrayal.

Source:
— Washington Post
Christian Caryl, the editor of Democracy Lab, is a senior fellow at the Legatum Institute and a contributing editor at Foreign Policy. He is also the author of a new book, Strange Rebels: 1979 and the Birth of the 21st Century.

A letter from newly wed daughter

Dear mom,

Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my childhood days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming. But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises. I can’t wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family. I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day. I am expected to be presentable every time. I can’t just go out anytime I want to. I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family. And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom.  Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again. I want to come home to my favorite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worry in this world.  But then I suddenly realize, had you not got married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn’t have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear- to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you. And I am sure that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you do. Thank you mom for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same.
Love you.

21 learning

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

5. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice

21. Spend some time alone.

Received this message on watsapp, loved the learning. :)

A Lesson In Psychology!!

¤ When A Person Laughs 2 Much Even On Stupid Things, Be Sure That Person Is
Sad Deep Inside.

¤ When A Person Sleeps a lot, Be Sure that Person Is Lonely.

¤ When A Person Talks Less, And If He Talks, He Talks Fast Then It Means That Person Keeps Secrets.

¤ When Someone Can't Cry Then That Person Is Weak.

¤ When Someone Eats In Abnormal Way Then That Person Is In Tension.

¤ When Someone Cry On Little Things Then It Means He Is Innocent & Soft Hearted.

¤ When Someone Gets Angry On Silly Or Small Things It Means He Is In Love.

So True, Try To See All These In Real Life, U Will Find All.

"Difference in Love and Marriage"...

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and
come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go through first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders... may be there is a
bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the
previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have
already miss the person..."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and
come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach
the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith
and believe this is the best one you get... This is marriage.

It is within you

The spirit to succeed is within,
The spark of hope lies within;
Your aim to shine like the brightest star is fired by resources from within.

You have the raw materials to mould your fate;
You have the necessary wherewithals to enter the winners gate.

Toil diligently and seek within;
You are bound to find the beginnings of a grand win.

The C. A. Course is not all that tough, if you conquer the rough;
Then you will find the sailing smooth;
It all comes from within.

Dream big, strategies and channelise your energy in pursuit;
New reserves of strength from within will guide you in your route.

Its all within your reach so brush yourself up if you stumble or fail;
Grid yourself, unstinted hard work will see you stand tall.

Leave no stone unturned, no avenue for doubt and shortcuts;
Stay steady on your course, you will find in the end,
Faith will triumph all.


Source: CA Students Journal

10 ways to be a Great Parent

One of the nicest things about being a parent is that regardless of the circumstances of your own childhood, the moment you go from being ‘a girl or guy’ to being a parent, you suddenly ‘get it.’ That amazing feeling of exactly what it’s like to love something more than anything.
Here are Gurgles top ten tips on how to be a good parent…

1. Be involved in your child's life.
Being involved fully in your child’s life can be hard work, and more often than not means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. Lots of parents feel they don’t spend enough time with their children or that they have to sacrifice what they do for what the child wants. It’s important to get the balance right; if you work all week and can’t imagine a weekend looking after the children and need some ‘downtime’ yourself, make sure you make time for both. Take the children to the park, ice creams, read to them , spending quality time together but say ‘mummy/daddy needs an hour to catch up on emails/football etc’ to get the balance right.

2.Establish and set rules.
Make sure you and your partner stick to the same rules. It’s no good if Daddy comes home and lets the children have chocolate buttons after Mum has said they are only allowed a certain amount of chocolate if they are good! Establishing some ‘family rules’ with your children is a great way to communicate your expectations and be consistent in your parenting. Make sure there are no more than 3-5 house rules as too many can seem like lists and lists of rules which children would soon find tedious.

3.Avoid harsh discipline.
Many people use the same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline which can make children angrier and either more enclosed or more likely to take it out on others. Sometimes being a parent can make you very frustrated, especially when you have a whinging whining child (for no reason) and the child will not reason with you. The best thing to do in this circumstance is try not to make an issue out of the whinging by not getting cross. Laughing during a tense moment can ease the pressure off you and may even make the child stop the tantrum when they realise it really doesn’t work. Take a moment to stop, breathe, count to ten and carry on as normal with what you are doing. Your child will hopefully get the point that you are not interested in the tantrum and you can make light of it.

4.Explain your rules and decisions.
Always explain your rules and decisions so that your children know exactly why you are punishing/praising them and they can learn from this. For example, ‘Lucy, I am not going to give you your pudding until you finish your broccoli because you have to eat up your dinner before you can go on and have a desert’, rather than a simple no.

5.Treat your child with respect
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the sheer dependency and enormity of raising children and parents do often view them as small beings who really should be grateful, have less tantrums, stop whinging, and stop arguing with their siblings etc. These are all ideal types of behaviour which we would love children to understand, but in truth, the ungratefulness, tantrums, whinging and so on, can be down to parents barking orders all day long, ignoring common courtesies toward the child, and in defiance, children ignore the parents altogether. The best approach would be to treat your child as respectfully as you yourself would like to be treated.

6.Help them feel safe
It is very important for children to feel safe and this can start at home by hanging family portraits around the house, or pictures of them with their siblings in their bedrooms -a great way of giving them a sense of belonging.
Try not to argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. Also, children will learn to argue with each other the same way as they hear their parents argue with each other. The best way to deal with this is to show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.

7.Do Something Familiar.
Children love routine and ritual, and if there is a special thing you and your children love doing, make time to make it part of your day/week. A particular story you always read before bedtime or something you always say to them before they go to bed. Children love the repetition of something lovely and will remember these little loving moments as they get older.

8.Read together
No matter whether you have a tiny baby or a wriggly toddler, they all love to be read to. You may need to adapt what you read slightly, more colourful bold books for babies, and simple, funny or sweet stories for toddlers. A 4-5 year old will be able to handle slightly more complex story and interesting illustrations. Reading with your child creates a perfect bonding time together.

9.Find out one important thing about your child’s day.
Although this really applies to slightly older children, finding something important about what they did at nursery or the childminders or even if they had a day out with daddy, is very important. It shows that you are interested in what they do and involved in their world. As they get older this can work as they may tell you the good things but also comfortable enough to tell you their worries and fears.

10. Don’t worry about the previous nine items.
Just when you think you’re doing ok as a parent, then along comes an article like this one to make you feel like you are not doing the job right!? Of course, that’s not the point. All the goals we’ve listed are worth aiming for, but no one will ever accomplish all of them, every day. So don’t beat yourself up trying to do the impossible. If expectations seem to high, be realistic about it and try not to judge yourself against other parents… remember they are probably feeling like you do as well.

A good way to look at how to become a good parent, is to try and enjoy the time you have with your little ones. Take a step back, take a breath, look at these little people you have created and spend time with them. It’s these moments with your children that make them feel loved. Leave the washing for another few minutes, have that chat with a friend on the phone a bit later and take those extra moments to spend with your children.

...read this article on Yahoo!

how a HR Manager could write a love letter to his girlfriend?

To,
Aarthi Agarwal
7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms. Aarthi,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the Meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. At 1500hrs, I would like To present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on Probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, Would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, There will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal Schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared. Equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up A larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without Further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be Happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not Wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,

HR Manager

Very wonderful mail received from a friend!
Hope you would enjoy it. :D

CNN Heros - Anuradha Koirala

This is the fact

Only great minds can read this!

Found this interesting image on FB ! 

I could actually read it easily, could you?

PUT THE GLASS DOWN!

The Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. 

He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?"

"50gms!"....."100gms!"....."125gms"...the students answered. "I really don't know unless I weigh it" some said

The professor said,"but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?" 

"Nothing"…..the students said. 

"Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?"the professor asked. 

"Your arm would begin to ache"said one of the student 

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?" 

"Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!" Ventured another student & all the students laughed

"Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"Asked the professor.

"No…." Was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?" 

The students were puzzled. 

"What should I do now to come out of pain?"asked professor again. 

"Put the glass down!"said one of the students 

"Exactly!" said the professor. 

Life's problems are something like this. 

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. 

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. 

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. 

You will not be able to do anything. 

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to'PUT THEM DOWN at the end of every day before you go to sleep... That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way! So, when you start your day, Remember friend to ‘PUT THE GLASS DOWN!

Interesting Reading 24

The Biggest TEMPTATION of life is to convert dreams into reality.

But the biggest defeat of life comes, when we Surrender our dreams to reality!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

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