Hieeee

 I am feeling so thrilled to be writing again. I feel it's in my soul... To read-to write.. to share and to express my views, my vision towards life. 

These years so many important events has happened in my life.

I got MARRIED! Yes, finally I did. 😂 Had my own struggles with it.. from convincing my parents to adjusting with new life, new roles and new responsibilities.

It's a task on it's own really to be married WOMAN! (I really don't know about men)

Looking forward to sharing my views ahead. Really looking forward to starting slow but to go ahead with it.

Let's see 😊

Do let me know in the comments below what had changed in your life in past 2 years?

#3 Bored

Boredom leads to you just wasting time into not being able to focus into doing anything in particular and sometimes you even don't want to do the things you usually love to do.

How to curb this state?
Address:

Evaluate your current state of mind or frankly ask yourself why are you exactly feeling bored?
So many times it's deep down the negative feeling which you try to supress which in result leads to not feeling good and yet the suppression leads to lack of admission that something is disturbing you.

Admit:

Indulge in self talk and find the reason and try to resolve it.

#2 Facing difficult situations

At times you come across difficult situations in life where you start to find it difficult to maintain your peaceful state of mind and emotions start to slide from your hands as the sand slips no matter how hard you try to hold it or how tight you grip, it just slips from your hand and you cannot control it all the times.
I'm facing such a situation currently and to divert myself I'm thinking of writing but couldn't really think of anything else hence writing about it.

What could be done in such situations then I'm wondering?

1. Get hold of your emotions:
Keeping your emotions in control is better than bursting out in anger. So many times we end up reacting to a situation to which we later regret to have waited and may be things would have been better. It's always good to wait and analyse the situation.

2. Divert yourself:

Pull yourself out of the situation so that you can think clearly. In fact don't even think about it. Just let it go. Just do your thing. Focus on yourself. Make yourself the centre of the universe. Pamper and take care of yourself. 

3. Meditate and deep breathe:

Sit still and quite in one place and just take deep breathes. With stillness and more supply of oxygen you'll be able to de-stress yourself.

4. Address the issue:

After a while (it may be minutes/hours/days/months) take your time and address the issue and try to resolve it. Till then don't over think and just stay calm and cool!

Thought of the day: Life comes with its ups and downs not all days are happy nor will they stay bad! Bad situations help you grow and learn. Keep learning.
Keep writing!

#1 Musings

Writing is so many times a great struggle in combination with the hurdle of lack of thoughts at times while at other times lack of interest in typing long words and a few times lack of motivation could pop up.

In the past few years I have gone through all of these phases several times and equal number of times tried to cope up with it however it ain't easy! It is sometimes busyness of work life that takes haul over you and no matter how hard you try to pull off it keeps getting difficult and even if you write the continuity is what matter the most I feel.

Just want to keep this post short and sweet hoping to maintain persistent approach and will try to constantly update, upgrade my writing and improve it while in the process aiming to provide some thoughtful input to the readers to help them in someway (not sure how! but any ways possible adding value matters).

Thought of the day: Keep practicing the thing you want to learn, daily small steps taken could always lead you ahead of the one big attempt you may aim to take.

Learn and share. Ciao! :) 

It's a choice that one can make

There are so many things and decision in life that are so implicitly present that we fail to ever realise that it's not compulsive or obligatory but a matter of personal choice.

I remember once listening to an amazing conversation between couples (on YouTube Relationship Theory) about how they chose to not have kids and why they thought so (I don't think their reasoning matters here) and as if the sky fell on my consciousness that I realised that I never never never, not even in my wildest dreams ever thought of thinking that having kids is actually a choice that a couple can make. I always thought that may be yeah the timing of their arrival is something that people could decide, when they're prepared to become parents but not that they can choose not to be one.

And I failed myself badly when I tried to reason why couldn't it be a choice to not have kids. It's not something that is necessary yet it's a great responsibility all together to nurture and bring up a life into the world and give them the values that could help not just the human being but the entire universe for people touch each other's lives and affect each other at so many levels.

I felt miserable and terrible and yet amazed all at the same time. It was as if a new thought was given to me, new way of looking at the world. It was definitely the shortcoming of my thoughts that I failed to realise that due to the surrounding I lived in and people I am accompanied by and the society in large which has so many obligations place on others involving the AGE at which people should get married if not then their whole life is getting wasted, and once the person is married the peer societal pressure of having the first kid and then after one the next is still on... So basically we live in a society where others decide not just about the career that one should be in to be called as successful but also the age at which one should get married (no matter what and hell to whom, just forget about the happiness, caste is all that matters) and then the years within which one should have the kids after their marriage and whether or not and when should one have their next child (not to mention the expectation of having a male child for everyone, and who shall they marry in future? Well this topic can go for having another blog post altogether, so let's skip this!)

Having seen people (especially females) who face difficulty in conceiving and their all life long struggle of getting themselves treatments for the same including years of medication followed by sometimes getting their body operated I felt terrible. There are people who see their lives as incomplete and unfulfilled without having any children of their own. I wonder is it actually that they really want it or just the another way of seeking validation and meeting up others expectations (family and society) that they try so hard and their whole life comes to a standstill and all that they ever dream and desire of having is a child. Not that I'm opposed to accepting that one could place their happiness in being parent. But does it means so much that it could be made struggle of the rest of whole life?

As the role of females have drastically changed in today's modern era raising kids and giving them essential time is a great struggle. Trying to feel fulfilled in our life but not being able to justify the role and accept the complete responsibility is it acceptable? Just for others fulfillment ending up making our life a big struggle for the rest of the life is it happiness?

I remember old days when woman who couldn't conceive were considered as waste and cursed and treated ill by the families. Instances also included man marrying other woman.(including the desire to have son, if couldn't be provided by a wife) It's linked with legacy. But we fail to realise what great deeds have we done to ever think of leaving behind our legacy after us in this world that the world will fall apart if it cannot happen or if people really think that their legacy is so much important then what values so they offer to their next generation that could change the course of the world in coming years?

No, all we ever think is that's how it is and so is how we SHOULD (less of we WANT) live life.

Lastly, to feel fulfilled in a relationship with our partner is it so important for a couple to have  kid/s then isn't their love dependable on the happening or non happening of an event? Could it be really termed as fulfilled relationship between the two? And when two cannot support and stand for each other at times of need why should one ever be with that kind of a person?

Have you ever thought of it?

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🙂

Bitter to Better

I took the knife and started cutting the Beetroot for salad for I had heard it's good for health, not that I was very fond of eating it for I never liked it's taste. It felt raw, ironish taste which would make it impossible to me to eat beyond few slices. While looking at its qualities I always wished I could eat more of it. I blamed beetroot and it's taste, always, for not allowing me to consume it more despite I wished to. In fact I had even almost quit on it because it was of no use. I tried again and again but it never got better.

One day I was at a friend's place for dinner and there it was again, I wanted to ignore it but somehow it ended up coming in my plate. I felt stubborn and decided to not patch up with it. But since it was on my plate I had to eat it somehow for the reason that I didn't like wasting my food. I picked up the slice and it's texture felt different from one I would cut. It was soft and flexible like jelly. I bit small end of the corner for I couldn't gather the courage to taste that taste again which I have been avoiding since years now. But to my utter surprise it was soft and sweet like some tasty fruit. I was not able to make myself believe that it was the same Beetroot which I would hate for it's taste could even taste like this. I asked my friend to confirm if I was not mistaking the identity. And nope I wasn't. I asked her about the cooking method used and she said she always preferred boiling it, that way it made it easier to consume. I wouldn't disagree as I ended up eating half of my appetite, those tasty beetroot! 😋
Seemed like all this while I was blaming the food where as it was my own cooking technique that was at fault for not being able to consume it.

In the parallel world:

I wondered if the same theory worked with relationships and that there was different way in which we could understand each other and may be if we knew it in a better way things could turn better from bitter!

Consciousness

We think we're conscious but are we really?

Are we aware of our feelings and what we feel NOW is it what we really feel!

So many times we fret over petty issues while we may have choose to not react in a certain way and that could have set things apart for the rest of our day.

We make our happiness depend on the number of coins we get in change from the auto driver or the way the ATM machine gives us the money, though in both cases the sum would be the same but still we do get affected when it doesn't go the way we expected.

We get angry and frustrated over that person in the street who walks ahead of us because of whom we couldn't get ahead at our peace but we fail to realise, he didnt get two eyes behind him to see we need the space to go ahead.

We smile and get happy when we see a toddler on our commutation while we fail to pay attention out of our phones when our own kid need our time.

We walk listening to the music rather than deciding to pay attention to what our friend walking next to us want to say.

We go against people who ask for reservation while we ourselves ask people to get up from the seats that are kept reserved for certain categories of people.

We wish our life could change while we hardly decide to change any of it.

We get jealous to see others life as perfect but we decide not to see the efforts they put in to make that living.

We decide to make rules for others on how they should behave and what they should do while we fail to draw the line between personal freedom and choices.

We want intimate relationships but we don't want to learn forgiveness.

We want peaceful mind but we don't want to practice meditation.

We want healthy body but we don't want to workout.

We want to stay protected but we fail to learn self-defense.

Our choices are always the opposite of what we wish and yet we want the results our way.

We fail to consciously make choices and make life better.

Goal setting

Goals...
Suddenly I realised it's October, 2016!
Only 3 months left of this year 2016.
Years pass by... Time keeps moving... But am I moving ahead anywhere? Even if the answer to the same is affirmative then am I moving the way I wish to? Am I moving in the direction I wish to? Am I moving ahead on the path which will lead me to the end I wish to achieve?
Have you ever wondered?
At the start of every year we try to follow the tradition of making THE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS! What was your resolution for the year 2016? Or even if you don't believe in making any such list, still there would have been some idea to figure out your life for this year. So where do you place yourself today? Have you moved ahead?
My answer was NO. Sad. But this answer made me think why there answer is NO? The answer was I did not keep specific goals or if the goals were specific they weren't kept reminded by myself to me.
I just made them, felt happy and that's it. I didn't go back to it but just kept living. Day by day passed and here came a day when it hit me back that 9 months out of 12 are gone. That's not that sad I know but just think if the same statement would be that 50years out of 70years are passed! Now you get the panic attack you will get at that point. Also you have to agree that in that age you will not be able to do each and every thing that you would have done at 20 or 30 or 40.
So... You know now that each day that just pass by unnoticed by yourself is actually an opportunity lost by you to be YOU!
What's the point that I'm trying to make?
Take a pen and paper, or just go to that board you have placed in your room where it's in front of your eye daily, or use your gadget best and put a sticky note on your home screen of phone or laptop.
Make following list for example:
1. Personal Goals
(List of things you want to do just and just and just for yourself. Forget all restrictions you might have, social or financial. Just write what you want yourself to achieve. What you want to learn? What you want to experience? The movie that you missed watching in theatre but thought of watching later,  or may be you downloaded but never watched. That hobby that you always wanted to pursue. That trip that you wanted to go on. That diary that you wanted to write. That morning you wanted to spent meditating... That recipe you wanted to try on your own. List is endless isn't it? Write it down...)
2. Professional Goals
(What and where you want to reach in your professional field? What actions and decisions you need to take to reach there? The position you want to be in? The award you want to win?)

3. Family Goals
(What you want to do for your family and friends? That promise you made to your parents but haven't yet fulfilled. That call you wanted to make or just dropping that text after years to an old friend who was dearest. List it...)

4. Social Goals
(You had thought you would do something for helpless ones. That tree which you wanted to plant. That area you wanted to clean near your surrounding. That awareness you wanted to create. That good deed you wanted to do secretly. List it...)

Add any more categories if you feel like...
But in front of each categories each goal put that specific dates or month or year. You have to keep the target to achieve our it'll end up being an unachieved goal which isn't out motto.
Keep striking of achieved goals....
Keep adding new ones...
Would it be exciting to achieve them?
Go get it...

Baar baar dekho...

After I had seen the promos I wanted to see this piece though reviews weren't motivating enough to go ahead but still I heard of my heart and went ahead. And once again my heart didn't let me to disappointment. It wasn't bad at all! No offense towards the critics. May be what I perceived was what they couldn't.
Basically it's story of couple in love since childhood. There comes a stage when they fall into deciding to get tie the knots. Our man here, Siddharth Malhotra, gets nervous just like any other person in such a situation would. He isn't sure if he should choose his marriage over his better career opportunity. Since the inception of time human beings are designed certain way. Men were assigned the duty to be the earners for the family whilst women became designers of nurturing the family and children. In the modern era decided to shift certain rules. Women empowerment lead to making them more powerful and achieve everything else that a man could do. Not forgetting that their essential character still is imbibed in them and despite being able-to-achieve-everything still she cannot compromise on with not talking care of her children and man. Similarly, a man always thinks of achieving great things in life for that is their essential character, to earn for his family. Very rarely though few might have broadened their horizon till date and thought of changing nappies along.
Siddharth, feels insecure about his career looking at the influence his would be father-in-law had over her daughter and her life. No one has the right to rule others life. He tries to run away from the situation that was suffocating his rather than it should have made him happy for starting a new phase. Suddenly next morning he wakes up being on his honeymoon beside his wife, of which he was not sure tying knots with. He panics for he didn't remembered when did they get married! Katrina did manages well Siddhartha's weird behaviour about he not remembering their marriage. Siddharth decided to enjoy the moment for he did love her.
Next morning Siddharth wakes up two years in the future where Kat was throwing pillows on him, they were in UK where he had got his job as a Mathematician at Harvard university(if I'm not wrong!😅) Kat was having labor pain while Siddharth want able to figure out what the heck was going on... How could his life move so great ahead. But he didn't had time to analyze anything as his baby was about to born. They drive to the hospital. Seeing his baby and taking him in his arms he learns being a father is a valuable attribute. He tries to settle with this feeling for the day that he was a father of a baby boy!
Next day comes and he wakes up 10 years ahead. He was father of two children. He goes to the university where he dreamt of teaching. He gets promotion. In all his work and professional life he find it difficult to find time for his wife and children. They're not happy with him.
Next day he wakes up being 42! His son who was in teenage now drives him the court. Clueless he goes in and then he gets divorced. His world seem collapsed. His children doesn't love him, his wife was not happy with him in the marriage for he never had participated in any family moments.
Siddharth cries, begs to God for one chance to change his life. He couldn't imagine his life without his family.
In next phase he wakes up to the day where he finds his children and wife around him but that was the day when his mother was no more. He regret that he couldn't tell his mother how much he loved her. Then he realises that Katrina was no longer his wife but he married someone who supported her dreams and was also with children when needed. He knew he had failed. He was successful and had a profession he always dreamt of having but no one around him to love him.
He learned that it's essential to BALANCE life. Happiness is living in small moments rather than in big achievements. If it's duty to work then it's also a man's responsibility to ensure that his wife and children are getting enough of emotional support from him.

I loved the lesson that this movie had also the way it was shown was also different.
Baar baar bhale hi matt dekho but it's worth watching once. 😉

Mannat

As the train trail towards the destination, Lal Baugh, I couldn't resist thinking of a concept... MANNAT!
The fabulous and the famous festival of India and particularly of Maharashtra has begun, GANESH CHATHURTHI!
Lal Baugh cha Raja has been more so auspicious. Though personally I am believer that God exists everywhere around us and there is no difference but still I would admit it that I do end up visiting Lal Baugh every year. There is indeed a pull that drives me.
The very first time I had gone to Navas(Mannat) que. It took us 18 hours to get the Darshan. We were tired, sleepless, hungry... It's said that every wish of your get fulfilled. Well! No offence but mine didn't get fulfilled. In fact to be honest, mine never got fulfilled ever like this! And when it happened to me for the first time I blamed God for it, when it repeated I slowly started blaming myself too for I may be failing somewhere in my prayers or hopes I felt. But then there were times when I prayed whole heatedly still nothing seemed to work for me.
I was raged! I thought I was being fooled, misguided, cheated and what not!
I became atheist. From a strong believer to no believer of God. Anyone would, isn't it? I wanted to ask God why? But he never seemed to answer. I wanted to know the reason... And long ahead once I got my answer...
He the almighty knows it all. May be we don't need to strive hard over trying to convince him to do some miraculous magic for us but may be we need to divert those hard efforts on getting the thing we want by ourselves. No offence! I'm not saying those who get their wishes fulfilled are faking it or anything negative about it. I respect them and their emotions and spiritual values equally but I'm not the one from that category. And I believe that God has made me powerful enough to get myself everything with my own karma... May be we don't need to even ask for it from him for he the almighty knows it by himself more than we ourselves what we want!
It's also a fact that Gods plans are always better than ours!😊😉
Ganpati bappa morya!