What's life?

"This life isn't easy to live!" Exclaimed my friend.
"Of course not, it's easy to die than to live", I concluded.
"Life have it's own plans, no matter what you plan, what you dream, what you want, it always drift you with it's swing away from your desires to something you would have not actually even dreamt of! And sometimes I feel we got no role to play but everything is planned and only that will happen. It's pre-written." I added.
To these thoughts of mine my friend opposed, "No, not everything is planned. We can change things by seeking the opportunities that we get to change things."
Well, I don't know! Then why is it that at some point in time we surrender everything and conclude that it is/was not in my destiny. 
What's destiny? What's in our hands? I really don't know?