First first...

This is something unique and new... There is always first, as they say... This is for first time for me too!
Actually, I never celebrated my birthday publicly, it never came during school days or college days (though there are possibilities that I didn't went to college, even if it would have come! :-P), nor when I was at office (was on audits most of the time...) and rarest rarely it once happened that it was on day I had lecture at class, back in 2009 I guess! I was literally not interested in going to class. I felt shy! Yeah, I can too be shy sometimes! ;-) :-P but I went and felt very embarrassing too when people wished me, though I wished no one would have!
I can only accept my family and friends to wish me, coz I feel that it matters to them at some level that I'm in their life. Rest, other world, just coz they come to know about it and wish me, I don't find any sense!?
May be because of this pattern, I never liked accepting the fact that today of my birthday. I never go and tell anyone that, "Hey, you know what!? TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!" I never did that. In fact round about I feel no one should know it's my birthday. I know it's damn strange but I feel awkward, I don't know what to say or how to react when someone whom I don't expect to wish me, wishes me?!
I mean it's good that it's my birthday but what is so much special in it, I feel. I just want this day to be normal, like any other day. I just want to be with family and close friends. Before I didn't had this much acceptance too but now over the years I've learnt to accept it that it cannot be completely normal day. My Mom asks me what special I want to eat and they make me that, I brothers plan something surprising, my friends too come to my place and unexpectedly looking them I feel good. This much of celebration is quite enough for me. Before I even felt shy to cut cake, now I do it normally...
My Family wishes me sharp at 12am, if by any chance I'm asleep I'm woken up and wished. My best friends too call on 12, all are KUMBHAKARAN's still wake up till 12am and take efforts (or purposely to trouble me! :-P) call me or text me. My cousins also call at 12am. God! Next day I even forget whether the B'day is over yesterday night itself or still remaining! Ha ha ha... :-D
Before I had hidden my birthday date from social networking sites too. But now I keep it visible (don't faint, it's true! :-P) I also reply thanks to all those who wish me. Now I have gathered this much of acceptance...
But this year it's most unique than any other year it could be. My birthday on the EXAM day! Wow I'm so damn EXCITED! :-\ LOL... I have EXAM on the very day! Wow...

I want to switch off my mobile phone. But that would be so RUDE of ME! :O :-\ I know... I know... But I don't know what to do... Obviously no time to feel any special about this day, as I like.
But then others do feel it to be special and I respect that they love me for whatever and whoever I'm!
Just want to thank all those people who take efforts and remember me and my existence in this world!
I wish over the years I too accept it as a special day and learn to react normally how other people do.

PS: Best part is I'm not at office. They cut cake and ask to distribute chocolates to each and every colleague. This is beyond my imagination. I would have bunk office had I had it on the day, I'm sure! :-P
It is so embarrassing... :-D I never did that ever in my life (till now) ;-)
I'm MAD! I know...

One thing I do normally is I  accept GIFTS from anyone happily, for IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! :-)

Let them fall!

Few people learn only after they fall! No matter how hard you try but they shall never learn from others mistakes or guidance.
Beyond a point you can't make anyone understand what they'll end up into. Sometimes, you can only wait and watch the show, sometimes a bad show, but you have to witness it, for it's meant to be so...

I walk alone

May be this is the only best way to live. All alone...
No people, no expectations, no love, no trust, no betrayal, no breach, no sorrows, nothing, just nothing...

Broken trust

I don't know why this life is testing me beyond my tolerance level?
Coming across few truths is sometimes so worst that you realise it was better when you were unknown to them. Coz after knowing about it, each breath seems unbearable. There seems no solution to it. Over and above you can't share it with anyone is the worst feeling. Keeping things locked in your heart forever and continuing to bear it is like dying each moment silently.
When time is crucial and important, why unusual things come in existence to occupy all mind space and leave vacuum in the heart forever!?

Life would be easy alone than to have fake people in it...

Stuck subconscious on repeat 1

Yesterday night before sleeping I was listening to songs and on shuffle sang this song, which is one of my favourite as well, I heard it on repeat for 2-3 times and doze off!

But ever since today morning my brain is continuously singing

Apna naam badal dun
Ya tera naam chhupa lun
Ya chhod ke saari aag
Main vairaag utha lun
Bas ek rahe mera kaam ishq
Mera kaam ishq
Mera kaam ishq

Mera naam ishq
Tera naam ishq
Mera naam, Tera naam
Mera naam ISHQ!

Ye laal ishq, ye malaal ishq
Ye aib ishq, ye bair ishq

Ye kaali raat jakad lun
Ye thanda chand pakad lun
Din-raat ke bairi bhed ka
Rukh mod ke main rakh dun

Tujh sang bair lagaya aisa
Raha na main phir apne jaisa
Raha na main phir apne jaisa

Mera naam ishq
Tera naam ishq
Mera naam, Tera naam
Mera naam ISHQ!

Ye laal ishq
Ye malaal ishq

Now I don't know how to change the song from minds playlist! :O

Strength-n-courage!

A person could show his greatest strengths only when it's put to test.
A person can show his courage only when he is drowned into such a tough situation which needs great courage and if he/she have it then they can survive it.

To become strong, many weak points are tested. To come out as a winner many failures are tasted. To reach the goal, many throny roads are required to be walked, barefooted. To be named as a great warrior, many years are spent in learning, many cuts bleed, many deaths are lived, many lives are sacrificed.

But sometimes you find it difficult to stand strong in front of a storm...
You shatter, you break, you loose courage, you loose confidence, you loose inspiration...

All phases comes, which phase you chose to be with,decides your destiny. Whether after a fall you stand up again and walk or whether you decide to never get up?

Selfish PEOPLE-Selfish WORLD

When outsiders behave with you practically, never showing any concern or care about what may happen to you, you still can accept their this strange behavior and live with it!
But...
When your own people, whom you know since birth, for whom you've sacrificed and who has sacrificed for you, when all of sudden they show carefree attitude, it hurts beyond any console! :’(
And you can tell no one about this feeling...

May be it's better to learn to not expect anything from anyone in this WORLD, where everyone is SELFISH by some or other means! :-\

Live in present

Don't try to know about the future, coz...
"Aane wala kal agar dukh dene wala hoga toh wo aaj ke sukh ko bhi nusht kar dega
aur
Aane wala kal agar sukh dene wala hoga toh bhi wo sukh aaj ke dukh ko kum nahi kar sakega... Isliye apna KARM karo aur aaj main jio."

"The sadness of future will take away todays peace and the happiness of future will not be able to console todays pain... Hence do your KARMA and live in the present."

Wise wisdom as shared by lord Krishna in Mahabharat.

Challenges of life

Being faced by challenges, you do doubt whether you'll be able to do it or not! That too if you have time shorter than you expect then the target seems more difficult to be achieved. Somehow you still boost your confidence. There comes the worst part, when almost everyone around you point out at you and say, DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT?
After listening this my blood boils and all my energies comes to one place and it can only see ONE GOAL and it cannot think about anything else but only and only about my dreams and goals which I have to achieve. Coz all those interrogations prove that this is what the world can do to you! PULL YOU DOWN, DOUBT ON YOU! But you have to decide whether you want to fall or RISE, whether to give up or TRY?
You cannot loose the battle until and unless it begins. And my battle has not yet begin.
New CHALLENGES are acceptable to ME and I will soon prove everyone that it might sound difficult but it is definitely not IMPOSSIBLE.

"I MIGHT NOT WIN IMMEDIATELY BUT I'LL WIN DEFINITELY!" :-|

Life-O-Life!

This life... It's as strange as ever... Always surprising you... Sometimes with shocking realities... Sometimes with amazing surprises... Sometimes it gives you pleasure of being alive... Sometimes it make you regret being still alive... Sometimes it showers love on you...
Sometimes it leaves you to walk all alone... Sometimes it challenges you with impossible tasks to do... Sometimes it comfort you... Sometimes this... Sometimes that... O'Life you make me MAD! :-P
:-D