It's a choice that one can make

There are so many things and decision in life that are so implicitly present that we fail to ever realise that it's not compulsive or obligatory but a matter of personal choice.

I remember once listening to an amazing conversation between couples (on YouTube Relationship Theory) about how they chose to not have kids and why they thought so (I don't think their reasoning matters here) and as if the sky fell on my consciousness that I realised that I never never never, not even in my wildest dreams ever thought of thinking that having kids is actually a choice that a couple can make. I always thought that may be yeah the timing of their arrival is something that people could decide, when they're prepared to become parents but not that they can choose not to be one.

And I failed myself badly when I tried to reason why couldn't it be a choice to not have kids. It's not something that is necessary yet it's a great responsibility all together to nurture and bring up a life into the world and give them the values that could help not just the human being but the entire universe for people touch each other's lives and affect each other at so many levels.

I felt miserable and terrible and yet amazed all at the same time. It was as if a new thought was given to me, new way of looking at the world. It was definitely the shortcoming of my thoughts that I failed to realise that due to the surrounding I lived in and people I am accompanied by and the society in large which has so many obligations place on others involving the AGE at which people should get married if not then their whole life is getting wasted, and once the person is married the peer societal pressure of having the first kid and then after one the next is still on... So basically we live in a society where others decide not just about the career that one should be in to be called as successful but also the age at which one should get married (no matter what and hell to whom, just forget about the happiness, caste is all that matters) and then the years within which one should have the kids after their marriage and whether or not and when should one have their next child (not to mention the expectation of having a male child for everyone, and who shall they marry in future? Well this topic can go for having another blog post altogether, so let's skip this!)

Having seen people (especially females) who face difficulty in conceiving and their all life long struggle of getting themselves treatments for the same including years of medication followed by sometimes getting their body operated I felt terrible. There are people who see their lives as incomplete and unfulfilled without having any children of their own. I wonder is it actually that they really want it or just the another way of seeking validation and meeting up others expectations (family and society) that they try so hard and their whole life comes to a standstill and all that they ever dream and desire of having is a child. Not that I'm opposed to accepting that one could place their happiness in being parent. But does it means so much that it could be made struggle of the rest of whole life?

As the role of females have drastically changed in today's modern era raising kids and giving them essential time is a great struggle. Trying to feel fulfilled in our life but not being able to justify the role and accept the complete responsibility is it acceptable? Just for others fulfillment ending up making our life a big struggle for the rest of the life is it happiness?

I remember old days when woman who couldn't conceive were considered as waste and cursed and treated ill by the families. Instances also included man marrying other woman.(including the desire to have son, if couldn't be provided by a wife) It's linked with legacy. But we fail to realise what great deeds have we done to ever think of leaving behind our legacy after us in this world that the world will fall apart if it cannot happen or if people really think that their legacy is so much important then what values so they offer to their next generation that could change the course of the world in coming years?

No, all we ever think is that's how it is and so is how we SHOULD (less of we WANT) live life.

Lastly, to feel fulfilled in a relationship with our partner is it so important for a couple to have  kid/s then isn't their love dependable on the happening or non happening of an event? Could it be really termed as fulfilled relationship between the two? And when two cannot support and stand for each other at times of need why should one ever be with that kind of a person?

Have you ever thought of it?

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Bitter to Better

I took the knife and started cutting the Beetroot for salad for I had heard it's good for health, not that I was very fond of eating it for I never liked it's taste. It felt raw, ironish taste which would make it impossible to me to eat beyond few slices. While looking at its qualities I always wished I could eat more of it. I blamed beetroot and it's taste, always, for not allowing me to consume it more despite I wished to. In fact I had even almost quit on it because it was of no use. I tried again and again but it never got better.

One day I was at a friend's place for dinner and there it was again, I wanted to ignore it but somehow it ended up coming in my plate. I felt stubborn and decided to not patch up with it. But since it was on my plate I had to eat it somehow for the reason that I didn't like wasting my food. I picked up the slice and it's texture felt different from one I would cut. It was soft and flexible like jelly. I bit small end of the corner for I couldn't gather the courage to taste that taste again which I have been avoiding since years now. But to my utter surprise it was soft and sweet like some tasty fruit. I was not able to make myself believe that it was the same Beetroot which I would hate for it's taste could even taste like this. I asked my friend to confirm if I was not mistaking the identity. And nope I wasn't. I asked her about the cooking method used and she said she always preferred boiling it, that way it made it easier to consume. I wouldn't disagree as I ended up eating half of my appetite, those tasty beetroot! 😋
Seemed like all this while I was blaming the food where as it was my own cooking technique that was at fault for not being able to consume it.

In the parallel world:

I wondered if the same theory worked with relationships and that there was different way in which we could understand each other and may be if we knew it in a better way things could turn better from bitter!

Consciousness

We think we're conscious but are we really?

Are we aware of our feelings and what we feel NOW is it what we really feel!

So many times we fret over petty issues while we may have choose to not react in a certain way and that could have set things apart for the rest of our day.

We make our happiness depend on the number of coins we get in change from the auto driver or the way the ATM machine gives us the money, though in both cases the sum would be the same but still we do get affected when it doesn't go the way we expected.

We get angry and frustrated over that person in the street who walks ahead of us because of whom we couldn't get ahead at our peace but we fail to realise, he didnt get two eyes behind him to see we need the space to go ahead.

We smile and get happy when we see a toddler on our commutation while we fail to pay attention out of our phones when our own kid need our time.

We walk listening to the music rather than deciding to pay attention to what our friend walking next to us want to say.

We go against people who ask for reservation while we ourselves ask people to get up from the seats that are kept reserved for certain categories of people.

We wish our life could change while we hardly decide to change any of it.

We get jealous to see others life as perfect but we decide not to see the efforts they put in to make that living.

We decide to make rules for others on how they should behave and what they should do while we fail to draw the line between personal freedom and choices.

We want intimate relationships but we don't want to learn forgiveness.

We want peaceful mind but we don't want to practice meditation.

We want healthy body but we don't want to workout.

We want to stay protected but we fail to learn self-defense.

Our choices are always the opposite of what we wish and yet we want the results our way.

We fail to consciously make choices and make life better.